Tag Archive: Humor

Pay your bills with a spider drawing

Bizarre exchange between an Adelaide man and his utility company.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

Quote of the month

This happened earlier in the month, when the markets were sorta bullish.

Me: Bloody markets are up.
Friend: Yeah, don’t know why. Freaking annoying.

Of course, this was long before the current carnage.

Are you ready for Dow 20,000?

This day, last year, people were predicting the DJIA to hit 20,000.

Now I think we’d be lucky if we did not go into the 6,000s.

Picture du jour

Hurry!  Offers valid only until recession lasts (which will not be much longer, cause then the depression would set in).

(Pic courtesy Akshay)

Recesión Especial

Quote du Jour

“The Great Depression was a great period, and I’d like to see it redone in color.”

(Seen on Slashdot)

Adventures in Room 1792

1792

I return late at night to the hotel after spending the whole day poring over a financial model, only to find that I had forgotten the key card to my room.

So, I head over to the concierge desk to get a new one made. And oh, I also find the need to stress the hotness of the chick at the said desk.

Me: Hi, I lost my keycard.
She: Oh. What’s your room number?
Me: 1792.
She: Okay, let me make you a new one.

*a few seconds later*
She: 1729, right?
Me: No, 1792.

*she gets a call, and asks me again about 30 seconds later*
She: 1729, right?
Me: No, as mathematically interesting as 1729 might be, it is 1792.

She: Wait, I’m confused. Did you say 1729?
Me: You’re not very good at this, are you?

I felt like a stick figure in an XKCD comic.

Bloomberg Predicts the Future (Wrongly)

Seen on Bloomberg earlier today -

Bloomberg Predicts the Future (Wrongly)

The Truth Behind Subprime

So, ever wanted to know what really happened with the whole subprime mortgage mess? Look no further!

The Big Picture just posted these fantastic slides that have been making the rounds on Wall Street for a while. Click to launch the slide show. Enjoy!

Click to view presentation