Indy Telecom & Industrial Media

“Get on with the times, man. 9/15 is the new 9/11. The day Lehman collapsed.”

(The friend shall go unnamed — unless he chooses to comment here, of course.)

So, Joe Carnevale gets an idea in class, makes a barrel monster for pedestrian amusement, and gets charged with larceny by the witless cops.

The irony of course is that the barrel owning company does not want to press charges (in fact, the company’s president is amused), wants the monster back, and has asked Joe to make a T-rex barrel monster. And the cops refuse to drop the charges.

I’m quite sure that amusing pedestrians with barrels is a far more serious crime that warrants all this attention, given the fact that Raleigh’s crime rates for robbery, aggravated assault, violent crime, burglary, larceny, and property crimes are all higher than the national average. Then again, we are talking about cops here.

(And anyone else notice that 3 barrels cost $365? Screw bailouts, I’m going into the barrel business.)

Hey, you can call it dress-down Wednesday, but some of the big boys won’t give in. Cause they can punch you and stuff.

Bizarre exchange between an Adelaide man and his utility company.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

Lately, everyone has been abuzz about the Jon Stewart/Jim Cramer showdown.

I know lots of folks who know Cramer personally, and he’s supposed to a good, sharp guy, even if I do hate his show. On the other hand, I also like Jon Stewart and think he’s a funny, intelligent actor and that we need more of his kind out there.

But either way, I found the exchange between them to be rather sad and quite distasteful.

First of all, who does Jon think CNBC’s customers are? The regular joe or the guys on Wall Street? To answer that, look at who pays for most of the ads that are shown.  So, does it surprise people that CNBC targets Wall Street?

And secondly, while responsibility on CNBC’s part is certainly a laudable goal, let me play the devil’s advocate here for a minute.  Why should CNBC have any responsibility? At the end of the day, they are a TV channel. If SEC regulators and corrupt politicians did not foresee the economic problems of the day, we certainly cannot and should not expect a for-profit organization to. If anything, expecting them to do so is unfair and hypocritical.

Jon was being an ass to a guest who was doing a mea culpa. And worse yet, Jon didn’t care about Cramer. He just wanted to use him as a platform for for this entire thing.

Yes, it is wonderful to look back and blame people — but remember, at the end of the day, some of the smartest folks out there missed this coming. That’s the whole point of a bubble. But let me ask Jon this question. What about all those people who were said this was coming? Nassim Taleb, Warren Buffett, George Soros, Nouriel Roubini and a ton of others? Where was the daily show when these guys were talking about this? I did not see Taleb on the daily show in 2006. Oh wait, Jon was busy making fart noises and funny sounds.

But more importantly, Jon must realize one thing — if someone knew that this was all going to come down, it was more than likely that they were going to try and capitalize on this. You see, not everyone has jobs where they can get on prime time TV and make millions making fart noises. It’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

This happened earlier in the month, when the markets were sorta bullish.

Me: Bloody markets are up.
Friend: Yeah, don’t know why. Freaking annoying.

Of course, this was long before the current carnage.

This day, last year, people were predicting the DJIA to hit 20,000.

Now I think we’d be lucky if we did not go into the 6,000s.

Hurry!  Offers valid only until recession lasts (which will not be much longer, cause then the depression would set in).

(Pic courtesy Akshay)

Seriously, what’s up with all the sex in the news lately? Sex and Finance seems to be in the news a lot lately (and worse yet, it sounds like a really bad name of a b-school girl band).

First, there is a California girl offering her, umm, virginity for sale in an auction. Supposedly, the highest bidder of this “rare” commodity is 3.7 million dollars. Richard Branson should give her a job. Or maybe she’ll give him one.

And then of course, there are all these “impoverished” folks in LA who are letting film crews shoot in their houses because in their own words, they “…need money to maintain my lifestyle.”

In My Tub?

Jerry Mendoza says he’s willing to go to an extreme he wouldn’t have before the real estate slump.

…

His four-bedroom house in suburban Burbank, which Mendoza built in 2006, didn’t sell for the $1.3 million he asked, and when renters left in November he began leasing it for filming. The most he received for a day was $1,300, he said. So he posted an Internet notice that the property, which has an eight-person hot tub, was available to the adult-film industry, which he had heard pays as much as $5,000 a day.

A few months ago, “I probably would’ve said, ‘You want to do what in here?’”

Of course, I mean, why stop there? Might as well jump in if you see something you like. Besides, it’s a great chance to make more.

Well, okay, maybe not *everyone* gets it on during recessions. Think of this poor guy here…

“The Great Depression was a great period, and I’d like to see it redone in color.”

(Seen on Slashdot)

Great post on the Joel on Software discussion boards on software frameworks.

Makes me smile every time I think of a brand new one size fits all framework or “software factory” to handle all your enterprise needs.

Posted without comment…

I return late at night to the hotel after spending the whole day poring over a financial model, only to find that I had forgotten the key card to my room.

So, I head over to the concierge desk to get a new one made. And oh, I also find the need to stress the hotness of the chick at the said desk.

Me: Hi, I lost my keycard.
She: Oh. What’s your room number?
Me: 1792.
She: Okay, let me make you a new one.

*a few seconds later*
She: 1729, right?
Me: No, 1792.

*she gets a call, and asks me again about 30 seconds later*
She: 1729, right?
Me: No, as mathematically interesting as 1729 might be, it is 1792.

She: Wait, I’m confused. Did you say 1729?
Me: You’re not very good at this, are you?

I felt like a stick figure in an XKCD comic.

Apparently, coffee can make women’s breasts smaller, according to a Swedish study.

(Quote du jour courtesy of Prasenjeet Dutta)

Andrew Lahde, the fund manager for Lahde Capital, became famous for giving his investors 1000% returns by betting against the subprime mortgage markets.

After making his fortune, Andrew quit the HF industry recently. And his goodbye letter is the stuff of legends.

Today I write not to gloat. Given the pain that nearly everyone is experiencing, that would be entirely inappropriate. Nor am I writing to make further predictions, as most of my forecasts in previous letters have unfolded or are in the process of unfolding. Instead, I am writing to say goodbye.

Recently, on the front page of Section C of the Wall Street Journal, a hedge fund manager who was also closing p shop (a $300 million fund), was quoted as saying, “What I have learned about the hedge fund business is that I hate it.” I could not agree more with that statement. I was in this game for the money. The low hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale, and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking. These people who were (often) truly not worthy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government. All of this behavior supporting the Aristocracy, only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America.

There are far too many people for me to sincerely thank for my success. However, I do not want to sound like a Hollywood actor accepting an award. The money was reward enough. Furthermore, the endless list those deserving thanks know who they are.

I will no longer manage money for other people or institutions. I have enough of my own wealth to manage. Some people, who think they have arrived at a reasonable estimate of my net worth, might be surprised that I would call it quits with such a small war chest. That is fine; I am content with my rewards. Moreover, I will let others try to amass nine, ten or eleven figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck. Appointments back to back, booked solid for the next three months, they look forward to their two week vacation in January during which they will likely be glued to their Blackberries or other such devices. What is the point? They will all be forgotten in fifty years anyway. Steve Balmer, Steven Cohen, and Larry Ellison will all be forgotten. I do not understand the legacy thing. Nearly everyone will be forgotten. Give up on leaving your mark. Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life.

So this is it. With all due respect, I am dropping out. Please do not expect any type of reply to emails or voicemails within normal time frames or at all. Andy Springer and his company will be handling the dissolution of the fund. And don’t worry about my employees, they were always employed by Mr. Springer’s company and only one (who has been well-rewarded) will lose his job.

I have no interest in any deals in which anyone would like me to participate. I truly do not have a strong opinion about any market right now, other than to say that things will continue to get worse for some time, probably years. I am content sitting on the sidelines and waiting. After all, sitting and waiting is how we made money from the subprime debacle. I now have time to repair my health, which was destroyed by the stress I layered onto myself over the past two years, as well as my entire life — where I had to compete for spaces in universities and graduate schools, jobs and assets under management — with those who had all the advantages (rich parents) that I did not. May meritocracy be part of a new form of government, which needs to be established.

On the issue of the U.S. Government, I would like to make a modest proposal. First, I point out the obvious flaws, whereby legislation was repeatedly brought forth to Congress over the past eight years, which would have reigned in the predatory lending practices of now mostly defunct institutions. These institutions regularly filled the coffers of both parties in return for voting down all of this legislation designed to protect the common citizen. This is an outrage, yet no one seems to know or care about it. Since Thomas Jefferson and Adam Smith passed, I would argue that there has been a dearth of worthy philosophers in this country, at least ones focused on improving government.

Capitalism worked for two hundred years, but times change, and systems become corrupt. George Soros, a man of staggering wealth, has stated that he would like to be remembered as a philosopher. My suggestion is that this great man start and sponsor a forum for great minds to come together to create a new system of government that truly represents the common man’s interest, while at the same time creating rewards great enough to attract the best and brightest minds to serve in government roles without having to rely on corruption to further their interests or lifestyles. This forum could be similar to the one used to create the operating system, Linux, which competes with Microsoft’s near monopoly. I believe there is an answer, but for now the system is clearly broken.

 Lastly, while I still have an audience, I would like to bring attention to an alternative food and energy source. You won’t see it included in BP’s, “Feel good. We are working on sustainable solutions,” television commercials, nor is it mentioned in ADM’s similar commercials. But hemp has been used for at least 5,000 years for cloth and food, as well as just about everything that is produced from petroleum products. Hemp is not marijuana and vice versa. Hemp is the male plant and it grows like a weed, hence the slang term. The original American flag was made of hemp fiber and our Constitution was printed on paper made of hemp. It was used as recently as World War II by the U.S. Government, and then promptly made illegal after the war was won. At a time when rhetoric is flying about becoming more self-sufficient in terms of energy, why is it illegal to grow this plant in this country?

Ah, the female. The evil female plant — marijuana. It gets you high, it makes you laugh, it does not produce a hangover. Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating. So, why is this innocuous plant illegal? Is it a gateway drug? No, that would be alcohol, which is so heavily advertised in this country. My only conclusion as to why it is illegal, is that Corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other additive drugs, than allow you to grow a plant in your home without some of the profits going into their coffers. This policy is ludicrous. It has surely contributed to our dependency on foreign energy sources. Our policies have other countries literally laughing at our stupidity, most notably Canada, as well as several European nations (both Eastern and Western). You would not know this by paying attention to U.S. media sources though, as they tend not to elaborate on who is laughing at the United States this week. Please people, let’s stop the rhetoric and start thinking about how we can truly become self-sufficient.

With that I say good-bye and good luck.

All the best,

Andrew Lahde

Seen on Bloomberg earlier today -

Quote of the week, by Akshay:

 ”…and while we’ve been out, intimate, with our respective petites amies, Merril Lynch and Lehman Brothers have collapsed.”